A Monster List Of 30 REALLY DUMB Online Personality Disorders

We all know one. ‘That guy’ – a person in one of your online networks that makes you go “not again!” or “is this woman for real?!”. We’re talking about social media personality disorders. People who don’t understand how the online world works but ignorantly abuse it to fulfil their objectives anyway and succeed in p***ing people off.
Social Media Golden Rule: “Do not do unto others online what you would not want done unto you in the real world.”

Here’s a comprehensive mix of idiots in no particular order. Enjoy!

# 1. The follower-buyer

People who buy followers on Twitter. Really?! REALLY???!!!! Years ago when Bebo was a teen paradise some kids found ‘cheats’ to get more loves on their profile. Grown adults buying followers is just in-excusable and really stupid. What can be gained by buying followers from profiles that add no value? Somebody tell us, please.
Buying followers on Facebook is misguided too. Chances are these ‘followers’ aren’t real people to begin with. They are probably virtual avatars in false accounts being generated in the social media equivalent of a sweatshop somewhere in Central or South Asia. Nice!

# 2. The troll

Ah yes. The troll. Someone who enjoys provoking thoughts of hatred by posting off-topic rubbish in online forums and threads. They’re everywhere. From online gaming to news sites. The unfortunate part is that they’d simply love to see this post as we’re giving them credit. That’s their kick. Winding people up. Ignoring them is the cure!

# 3. The spammer

Please, please, please, please, pppllleeeeeaassseeee buy this. Please… A little like the troll, they are hijacking conversations everywhere. Of course email is also another weapon of choice. A major recommendation when getting mails from Uganda asking you to cash in on your millions is just to actually respond and wind them up. Don’t click on any links and it’s actually best not to open the mail at all, but sometimes temptation overcomes us and a hilarious conversation is born. My personal favourite is asking them to buy me a dog. “But I don’t want a million dollars, I just want a poodle?”. Slowly but surely they get abrasive and angry. Very funny. Really creeping up on Twitter too with people asking you to buy followers.

# 4. The keyboard warrior

You’re so brave right now. Hiding behind the keys talking macho and abusing people in the thread. The rule is, don’t say anything online you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.

# 5. The circle jerker

Twitter seems to be worst for the circle jerk. The same bunch of people telling each other they’re great over and over. Oh no, please, YOUR conference was better or your post was just so refreshing. The exact same thing will be bounce back to them in a few days. LinkedIn is a bit like that. Endorsing people for skills that you know they’re not good at or even better, endorsing them for skills when you actually don’t know that person. A good experiment is add one skill what you have absolutely NO knowledge of. If people endorse you, then you know it’s baloney.

# 6. The waffler

Again LinkedIn is the king when it comes to this. Some people need to think before they post up content on their profile. My favourite is one guy in our network had ‘specialities’ in absolutely EVERYTHING. Reading his profile would make Larry Ellison feel insecure. The funny thing is that people actually switch off straight away so doing it is self-defeating.

# 7. The random bandit

Not everything is ‘random’. Facebook posts like this get under our skin, “Just bumped into Connor and Elish on the way to work. So random.” No it’s not random considering you live in the same area and take the same bus route. Please look up the definition of random.

# 8. The LinkedIn sales douche

Similar to our spammer, these guys just add you without knowing you or putting a personal message together when they invite you to connect. The answer. It’s called ‘decline’ or ask them how you know them and why they want to connect.

# 9. The pointless SUPER NEEDY status addict

Why tweet that you’re tired? No one cares. Why post up on Facebook that you’re ‘so excited’. Finish the status. Why are you excited? These posts really bug us and these people are just looking for attention. Nine times out of ten, if you ask they’ll come back with some smart-ass response like ‘You’ll see in time’. No we won’t. We’ll have forgotten about it in five minutes.

# 10. The Friday feeler

Friday memes. “Yay it’s Friday.” Nothing wrong with these except that every company and everybody out there is doing them. We should create memes and release them on Facebook on a Friday that say ‘Yay, only two days until Monday morning’. Be original with your content or people will not engage.

# 11. The acronym addict

Like WTF is with these people? People who use acronyms make me LMAO. LOL. IMHO, they should not be used! TTYL. Ugh…

# 12. The not sharing is not caring type

Don’t you just hate it when people share photos that say things like ‘If you don’t share this, you have no heart’? You have a heart right and you didn’t share? Perhaps you realise that sharing these photos won’t solve a problem that people are already aware of. It’s like the chain letters of social media! Get off your ass to make a difference.

# 13. The SEO expert

You’re an SEO expert ya? Well when why are you PMing me on every platform out there when I’m ranking as number 1 on Google on all the main search terms. Do your research or even better, please stop.

# 14. The miracle doctor

You have magic pills that will make irresistible to the opposite sex? Wow. I too am going to perform a miracle. I’m going to make you disappear by blocking you or by adding you to my spam folder.

# 15. The way too personal toucher feeler

Have you ever had a friend post something on Twitter or Facebook that made you go “NO! They did not post that?”. A regular occurrence is people slamming their family or quarrelling with family members online. Keep it classy. Keep it offline.

# 16. The business ‘friend’

Stop adding me as a friend if you’re a business. That’s wrong. You shouldn’t have access to my info like that. If a business does it to you just tell them in a friendly way that they shouldn’t of or report the page! There’s even tools provided by Facebook to merge over contacts from a personal page to a business one.

# 17. The text message speaker

Don’t use ‘gr8’, ‘u’ etc. on Facebook or any social network. You have characters. Use them. Twitter sometimes to be fair you have to shorten things, but otherwise no.

# 18. The instant natterer

Instant chatter can turn into instant natter when people won’t go AWAY on instant messaging. It’s a great way to chat but when you’re busy and ask people politely to come back to you later but… they just keep pinging. Would you poke someone over-and-over in the face when they ask you to stop? No, you wouldn’t so don’t do it online either.
What’s worse are the IM chats from someone looking to alleviate their loneliness and boredom (understandable), yet (and here is the real crime) they are not forthcoming with anything interesting to say and expect you to do all the work in the conversation. Here’s an example;

• Hi!
• (Me) Yes?
• Just saying Hi! What you up to?
• (Me) Thoroughly swamped at my desk right now (Big Hint)
• Oh..Did you have a nice weekend?
• At this point I scream silently into my double espresso.
• (Me) Nothing much. You?
• Oh.. Nothing….

# 19. The social media immunity type

This personality believes there are two sets of rules. One for them and another for everyone else. They may have some credibility and status in the social sphere but don’t follow the rules. They believe that the 18 personality types above are disgraceful but think they have immunity from the behaviour because they simply think their status means they can exercise the exception to all the rules. Nope. You can’t.

# 20. The Parent Trap

As one of us is a parent, we can of course understand the insatiable desire to share the overwhelmingly cute pics and antics of our offspring. It is indeed tempting, but people who over-post their children’s antics and images can be off-putting if not displaying downright dangerous Social Media behaviour.

• Parents who reveal too much information about their child’s name, address and whereabouts are running the risk of placing their kids in danger online and offline.
• They don’t realize other people could really be more interested in grown up thoughts and opinions on other topics too. EVERY post on Instagram, FB or Twitter doesn’t really need to be all about your child.
• And don’t get me started on people who use their children’s pics as an avatar… I confess I do post about my kid and family events but try to keep them to relevant circles.

# 21. The Emoticon Junkie

Yes you discovered the Emoticons and yes, I am glad you know how to use them, but more than one in every other message / sentence / line? There is a part of me – the part that is no longer in high school – that actually gets irate at the sight of too many emoticons in a message. Call me literary and old fashioned, but I occasionally yearn for a conversation with someone who is able to articulate emotion using the written word.

# 22. The Stalker – Toxic Bachelor

This one I hope, all the girls can relate to: (says Elish)
Nope I am not going to connect with you on LinkedIn or Facebook etc., because
a) You just sent me an introductory message telling me how much you love my smile and what a pretty lady I am on LinkedIn of all places.
b) I can tell by your existing Facebook profile of connections that you collect pretty gals only.

# 23. The LinkedIn over-endorser

I am flattered that you think I am an expert at ..(Insert your skill here).. but really? You live on the other side of the world and we have never done any business together. If you want my attention or my business I actually am compassionate enough to read a simple message. In totality this behaviour just leads to Endorsement Inflation and makes the ones I do have seem not quite as valuable any more.

# 24. The Foodstagram Glutton

We have all seen them, the steady stream of innocuous cups of coffees, pastry, lunchtime sandwiches and plates of nouvelle cuisine or even worse really mundane looking bistro food. It’s not that we have never done it ourselves, it’s just that we don’t want to see EVERY single boring meal go through our Instagram, Foursquare and Facebook feed. We love foodie pics better when you practise some quality control. Try posting the special stuff mostly like that once in a lifetime visit to your dream Michelin Star restaurant, that super spread you made all by yourself, food art or star quality dishes. (Stay tuned for an upcoming post on the foodstagram debate)

# 25. The Social Media Anxiety Sufferer

Don’t be a victim either. Don’t fall prey to the self loathing and creeping notions of inadequacy when scanning the seemingly superior lifestyles of others across your social media sites. Too much exposure to crafty pinterest pics from Martha Stewart types can make you break out in a sweat over your lack of creativity.
Your inability to recreate origami masterpieces at the last party is not a sign of failure. LinkedIn makes us wonder where we went wrong on our inferior career history and Facebook statuses rife with social butterflies or travel plans can give you FOMO ( fear of missing out). Don’t forget other people can have shitty grey lives too, they just don’t advertise that bit as much.

# 26. The preacher

While this post is about these heinous personality types, it shouldn’t give rise to people actually going out of their way to find and provoke people who are guilty. Don’t preach and don’t slam or insult other people. Lead by example only. That’s it. Don’t preach, just practice and don’t think you’re better than everyone else because you do, online or off.

# 27. The Conference Hashtag Pirate

Doesn’t it really annoy you when people hi-jack a conference hashtag to advertise? There you are scanning the feed to see who’s saying what and to find out if you can meet-up with anyone of interest. There’s plenty to meet up with using the hashtag alright! A lot of them are not actually there, but waiting in an apartment nearby to discuss more elements involved with more ‘traditional’ professions. It’s not all seedy. Some people are just plain spamming. If you’re not there or can’t add anything to the topic being discussed at that time, just leave it alone for the rest of us.

# 28. Online Bullies

OK, so we somewhat covered this in the ‘Keyboard Warrior’ except this takes it to a whole other level. People who are racist, sexist, sectarian etc. online. Hurling abuse is one thing. Insulting a whole ethnicity doing it is another. Plenty examples out there that I’m sure you are aware of. No way are they getting ‘airtime’ on this post.

# 29. The Content Stealer

You post something up. Then low and behold, someone posts it 5 minutes later on Facebook. But… they don’t share it. They blatently steal it from an obscure source you’ve been following. It’s especially noticeable if it’s old content. Stop stealing. Either share, RT or just find your own material bub!

# 30. The Two-facer

Yes, we know. It’s not a word. But these people agree with everything you say offline every time you meet yet project a totally different attitude and perception of things online. You do realise we follow you yes? So why congratulate us on a post and then diss it online thinking we won’t see? Perhaps you should invest in some common sense!
Not convinced? This video might get you thinking
Time for some fun! In the comments below, tell us about some really annoying personality types you’ve encountered AND give us an example of what kind of posts or behaviour they do. Really looking forward to seeing (and laughing at) what you have for us!

Does My IT Team Need A Strategy?

This is a common comment / question asked by both company CEOs and heads of IT, as they seek to ensure that enhanced services are provided by their IT teams. It’s an understandable question from both a business and a technology perspective as:

• Businesses look to their IT teams to ensure that business transactions are processed promptly and that the management team has access to quality information to base effective decisions on to help chart a way through challenging times
• Heads of IT look to enhance the customer delivery capability of their organisation, to demonstrate that they are more than a cost line in providing practical solutions.

IT organisations have a wide variety of topics to consider;

• The benefits and challenges of using cloud computing along with or in place of other delivery options such as hosted or on-premise solutions
• The potential of open source solutions to deliver enterprise ready solutions
• The impact of different regulatory systems on the management of IT systems
• The ongoing focus on cost benefit analysis to get the appropriate balance between investing for the future business needs and covering day-to-day expenditure
• The importance of being increasingly agile to manage changing business requirements
• Enhancing security standards to reduce the risk of a hacking incident

An adaptable road-map

A strategy can and does help. Think of it like a road-map, but one that can and should be reviewed periodically with the IT organisation’s ‘internal’ customers. A strategy is not a one-off exercise where IT and Business Management teams think that they are locked into. Changes will be required, so it’s important to consider this strategy as a working document.

Demand vs. Supply

As with any customer-focused organisation and it’s no different for an IT organisation, the first step in a strategy starts with identifying the ‘customer demand’ – what are the business solutions that the organisation management needs now and in the future. In parallel with this discussion, IT organisations can be proactive in proposing new opportunities and ways for doing business. These initial steps will generate the first part of the strategy – an Information Systems (IS) strategy listing the business goals and their requirements of what they as a business would like to see delivered from the IT organisation.
One important characteristic of an IS strategy is that it specifies what is required in adequate detail – in simple terms this is a list of prioritised user requirements – the ‘What’.
For every customer demand, there needs to be a supply – the ‘How’. The ‘How’ is an Information Technology (IT) strategy – spelling out in appropriate technical detail, how each of the user requirements in the IS strategy will be delivered. The IT strategy spells out the combination of network, server, database, operating system(s), transaction systems and how they will be delivered to provide the appropriate means to each business user to achieve their requirements in the IS strategy.

Collaboration is key

One of the characteristics of this process that helps in it’s success is that the IS startegy is a top-down approach identifying the key business requirements from the senior
management team, while the IT strategy is a bottom-up strategy with all of the IT organisation working on the appropriate IT tools to support these requirements.
To finish with an important point, made at the start of this post, it is important that this is an ongoing process supported by a collaborative relationship between a technical savvy business management team and a business savvy IT team.

Embrace your Doubters

You all know the saying “keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer”.  This post is framed around that saying, all be it “Enemies” is probably a bit too strong a word.
This got me thinking about my own experience in trying to convince people about the value of Social Media.  It can be hard enough to elicit feedback at the best of times; however it can be quite disheartening if the feedback you receive is always negative.
I would however urge you to embrace your doubters, as they are the most valuable people in your community.  I’ve had recent experience of this, and it is only now that I started to see the fruits of the ‘relationship’.
For the past few months, every time I wrote a blog post, the same individual kept turning up, always with an opposing viewpoint ready to challenge my message.  Initially I was very frustrated by this, to the point where I was beginning to doubt what I was saying.
However it is now a few months down the line, and I have been able to look back and analyse what really happened.  What I learned was that the comments and feedback from this individual actually spurred me on, and made me work doubly hard to prove my point.  I was forced to put more thought into my arguments, and to make sure that my references were better researched.  Imagine my surprise, recently when I started to see a change in the opinion of my critic.  What a fantastic feeling!!!
So the next time you are faced with criticism, don’t be afraid to step up your efforts, and work that little bit harder, to prove your critics wrong.
What are your approaches to dealing with critics?

VoIP: A Growing Industry

Infonetics Research, an international market research group, recently conducted a study that showed the VoIP (voice over internet protocol) industry growing by nearly 10% in the global market in 2012.  Taking into account both the business side of the VoIP industry and the quickly growing residential sector, combined revenue increased by about $6 billion dollars during 2012, making the industry worth some $63 billion dollars.
With these analytics in mind and keeping in-line with VoIP’s growth, experts expect that by 2017 global earnings will shoot up to $82.7 billion dollars.

Integrating into mainstream use

The reason behind VoIP’s growing success has to do with the way it has quickly begun to integrate itself into mainstream use.  When IP phone systems started to catch on back in 2004, it was still a pretty niche industry.  While some businesses were cutting the cord to their landlines and moving over to Internet-based telecommunications, many still were wary of putting so much trust into a fairly new industry.
But now in 2013, all that has changed. Each month, more and more geographic locations are opening up allowing the service to continue to proliferate on the global market.  This growth isn’t falling on deaf ears either—many of the big name phone service providers are in support of these changes, citing things like the continued upkeep costs of old switch operated lines and the push towards mobile communications as the main reasons to embrace this switch.

Why is VoIP attractive?

This begs the question: what makes VoIP such an attractive option over the quickly becoming defunct public switched network?  The answer lies in a user or company’s pre-existing IP structure.  VoIP is made possible as packets of information travel between one user and the other, similar to the way information travels across the internet, only instead of text, video and images, VoIP packets transport sound.

Hosted or not?

Within the industry, consumers are given two options: hosted or not hosted.  Hosted VoIP uses a supplier’s servers to host the service, eliminating the need for the company in question to devote any onsite personnel to the upkeep and maintenance of the technology.  This can be a great fit for companies in the nascent stages of growth who have yet to dedicate an IT staff for such issues.
Non-hosted VoIP services require that the business purchases the necessary equipment from a dealer and sets up the infrastructure on their own.  The benefits of this method include faster response times in the event of an error and a heavier hand in the quality control department.  If a business has a dedicated IT team, they should have no problem setting up and maintaining an onsite VoIP system.

The future of VoIP

What do VoIP services have in store for the future?  While businesses continue to enjoy the benefits of Internet based telephony, VoIP suppliers seek to make more of an impact on the residential market.  By advertising lower rates (in some cases up to a 90% annual savings) and many of the same features that exist on today’s public switched networks such as three-way calling, call waiting and voicemail, suppliers hope to prove that VoIP phone services are an attractive alternative to their current method of telephone-based communication.
Today, many government organizations are spearheading the VoIP movement as they release study after study that shows the huge opportunity for savings.  One study conducted in schools across the UK showed how switching to VoIP communication systems saved them nearly £100 million annually.  Funds saved on phone services can lead to increased investment in new teaching technologies and supplies.  If VoIP technologies can save this much money in the education sector alone, just imagine what it can do for your industry!
Have any thoughts that you would like to weigh in with?  I’d love to hear from you below.